Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 4, 2021 4:32:15 GMT
hi all,
i've always felt writing was easier for me than music making. i think im at the point however that I want to put words and sounds and feelings all in one to provide some sort of a multisensory experience. lately i have been listening to a band called Nothing More and that has lead me to the wonderful writings and talks of Alan Watts. It really resonates with me since I grew up on the writings of Krisnamurti and have somewhat forgotten the concepts of self reflection and reading your way through the explanation of the human experience and mind. With that being said, I decided to explore the depths of the place what we ignore for the sake of our own sanity and self preservation. Its the place where we hold all the resentment for the world, for ourselves, and for all those things that we can't get over so we put them in a place and we try not to visit them. I want to share with everyone my lyrics to the upcoming album and will be posting here the music as i develop it as well as concept art I am commissioning as inspiration. I even made a fun cover song lol. Feedback no matter how brutal is welcomed and encouraged. If its negative, it will just serve as inspiration for the next album entitled "The failure of the first".
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Post by Deleted on Oct 4, 2021 4:32:37 GMT
#1 The place we don’t talk about
Fuck fuck fuck
Open your fucking eyes
Let me inside
Naked and alone
Let me cut you slow
I want to feel it tearing
Each little vein
Making a fucking mess
Its so fucking dark here
You’re a piece of shit
not even whole
fuck fuck fuck
no time left
shits about to blow
im sick of it all
sick of this fucking show
lay me down
head between my knees
back and forth
back and forth
fuming fucking enflamed
they were right all along
fuck fuck fuck
im a piece of fucking shit
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 4, 2021 4:32:57 GMT
#2 Interlude – natural machine
Feels really good to stare into the eyes of the absolute
Our minds shine bright when we think
And then we think we know
And when we think we know it all
But what happens when we are wrong?
When we think we are wrong?
Well something else of course. It’s the polar opposite of feeling really good
The complexity and aloneness of the vast universe
The chaos and uncertainty of the unknown
Are concepts that don’t package well
And this makes us angry. This causes great grief
What we don’t understand and what we fail to see
is knowing one thing is never enough
knowing everything isn’t either
We need to feel. That is what matters.
We are physical beings designed to constantly receive
And reflect and feelings is a language of our emotions
And words reflect our intelligence and logic
And all this is going on in one brain, one mind
The struggle to define and accept what we see, who we are
And all the feelings that we are constantly projecting.
The cumulation of the human experience.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 4, 2021 4:33:27 GMT
#3 more
This can’t be filled
A bottomless pit
A waste of time
It doesn’t stop me
From trying
And failing again.
I sure got hope
A little beacon of light
That shows me the way
the confidence that
this will work
this time
like a little kid waiting
for his parents to come home
to tell them they love him
I keep trying to
Wait for them to walk in
And give me that hug.
But they never came
And I never found the way
To fill that void
And make sense of it all
The only thing that fills me up is
More.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 4, 2021 4:33:59 GMT
#4 Interlude - responsible
Where does this come from?
This thing that we are obsessing about.
At first glance its easy to point at the triggers
we know the first layer we acknowledge the thing
the feeling.
Some people never move past that.
You can stay there your whole life.
It can define you, describe you, and self-perpetuate
I am anger, I am rage. I am happy. I am weird.
Where does that come from?
When your surroundings lead you to a conclusion
What is that, why is that?
When you can encompass the totality of an existence
Within walls of definition.
Does it suffice?
Does it paint the picture that satisfies the question?
Does it matter?
Responsibility. Ultimately, we are responsible for it all.
Our rage, our forgiveness, our judgment.
We can agree, we can disagree, and we can break free
From being codependent from the illusions that run us
Constantly like little puppets.
We want control. That want is an illusion. There is only
Control.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 4, 2021 4:34:19 GMT
#5 control alt delete
its all about that grasp
that grip around your neck
I feel your life slipping
The force breaking
Crushing all those things
Away, away, away
its not personal
you don’t mean that much
its just that your in the way
you take up space
and I need it all
the control I take
fighting for your life
makes you tired and weak
when your done resisting
control alt delete
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Post by Deleted on Oct 4, 2021 4:34:57 GMT
#6 interlude - scheduled
Happy meal happiness on Wednesday
Thank god its Friday
Reflection and talk to God on Sunday
Got the Club going up on a Tuesday
Back to Work on a Monday
Ladies go in for free on Saturday
Medication once a week on Thursday
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 4, 2021 4:35:30 GMT
#7 Mine over matters
How do I take this from you
The feeling of normal
The sliver of comfort
Your humanity gone
Formless and not identifiable
Just another thing
Just another thought
To be forgotten
Whats your value
Your worth to my time
My time which is always ending
Your value is always ending
Your time is fucking up
Your worth nothing
I don’t need a reason
always for the taking
its what makes me whole
its what makes me a man
everything strong and hard
and you’re a piece of shit
that I step on casually
whenever the fuck I want
Your time is fucking up
Your worth nothing
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Post by Deleted on Oct 4, 2021 4:36:03 GMT
#8 Outrolude – Everything ends
What gives me hope
Is that everything ends
And what does that mean?
It means that life is
an accumulation of moments
with one having the same properties as the next
feelings that exist while your feeling them
then the memory of what we interpret
you can go back and reach out
and touch it, taste it, savior it
and that is also a moment
but its not the same moment
even if you think it is, even if you want it to be
this is eternity. It is the constant state of
potential energy and kinetic energy
and followed by the 3rd and most undefinable,
the absence of energy.
So when you think that you can’t get through this
Your absolutely right. This moment is eternal
It will last forever, you can feel it as long as you want
Until its not there anymore
and then you’ll remember it like as if it was yesterday
but it wont be the same, because you aren’t the same.
And even that doesn’t last
Eventually you won’t remember anything
And at that point, everything ends.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 4, 2021 4:36:27 GMT
#9 Ich
Can anyone hurt me
More than you?
Can anyone fuck me
Harder than you?
Make it so fucking hard
Make it impossible
Chorus:
I don’t deny it
It feels so fucking good
To give into it
It feels so fucking good
to live by it
it feels so fucking good
to die from it
it felt so fucking good
can you make me forget
all about you?
The last bit of hope
That I hold on to?
Make it so fucking easy
Make everything possible
It feels so fucking good
It felt so fucking good
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 4, 2021 4:36:58 GMT
#10 it was always you (love song) – BONUS COVER of the cure - longsong HIDDEN
whenever I’m alone with you
I feel like ending it all
Whenever I’m alone with you
its not worth finishing it
whenever I’m alone with you
the solitude consumes me
no matter what they say
it was always you
that kept me down
it was always you
and loved me until it hurt
it was always you
it was always you
whenever I’m alone with you
you remind me its not worth it
whenever I’m alone with you
it keeps getting harder
whenever I’m alone with you
I am always alone
no matter what they say
it was always you
that kept me down
it was always you
and loved me until it hurt
it was always you
it was always you
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Post by maydonpoliris on Oct 4, 2021 7:44:13 GMT
After reading this will be an explicit multisensory experience.
Are you looking to read or sing over the top of an all Ae backdrop along with a video or see what fits kind of thing.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 4, 2021 11:29:27 GMT
For the regular songs definitely sing / growl type of a thing. Maybe through heavy effects and a vocoder. I want to to be barely discernable aside from the humph and screams of the chorus. The music in general I want to go for something industrial with elements of metal ... Really take advantage of that Algo module, multifx, and grains.
As for the interludes im picturing more of a ambient modular soundscape with a sort of reading / lecture type of a feel.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 4, 2021 11:31:00 GMT
And as for the video / art that I would probably commission off to someone with those talents but definitely on the roadmap.
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Post by maydonpoliris on Oct 4, 2021 19:02:59 GMT
I like the sound of an industrial feel with an ambience to transition.
Haven't heard a vocoder with Ae before so will be interesting how it comes together.
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Post by funbun on Oct 8, 2021 11:57:16 GMT
Could we just delete this whole post?
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pol
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Post by pol on Oct 8, 2021 18:52:25 GMT
Could we just delete this whole post? Depends how much you like the word Fuck and its deratives.... |
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Post by funbun on Oct 8, 2021 20:51:16 GMT
lol!
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Post by admin on Oct 8, 2021 21:30:39 GMT
So cross4eyes, who started the original post has since deleted their account here on the forum, which I find really sad and unfortunate.
I know that the lyrics are not to everyone's taste, but I feel that they were well within the rules of this forum in that they were not disrespectful to anyone, but expressing a deep inner conflict. I wish that our forum would offer a place for this, even if it's uncomfortable to some.
If, in the future, anyone has an issue with the writings of another member, could you please take it up with me first?
We can then find a way together to resolve any issues and not let them get out of hand by causing rash actions or unnecessarily harsh words.
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Post by pt3r on Oct 9, 2021 7:55:28 GMT
So cross4eyes, who started the original post has since deleted their account here on the forum, which I find really sad and unfortunate. I know that the lyrics are not to everyone's taste, but I feel that they were well within the rules of this forum in that they were not disrespectful to anyone, but expressing a deep inner conflict. I wish that our forum would offer a place for this, even if it's uncomfortable to some. If, in the future, anyone has an issue with the writings of another member, could you please take it up with me first? We can then find a way together to resolve any issues and not let them get out of hand by causing rash actions or unnecessarily harsh words. Did someone of the community ask OP to delete his account, or remove his posts before he actually deleted his account? That would be quite inappropriate, to say the least. However, if OP deleted his account on his/her/their own decision then I don't see any wrongdoing of the community, apart from the lack of feedback on the posts but that goes for lots of threads on this forum, and most authors don't delete their account.
One could argue that the original thread was perhaps more fitted for the Lounge since there was no finished piece attached to it, but I don't see any problems with the post nor am I offended by them.
I'm not trying to start an argument, I just sharing my opinion in a hopefully constructive way.
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pol
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Posts: 1,349
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Post by pol on Oct 9, 2021 11:23:29 GMT
So cross4eyes, who started the original post has since deleted their account here on the forum, which I find really sad and unfortunate. I know that the lyrics are not to everyone's taste, but I feel that they were well within the rules of this forum in that they were not disrespectful to anyone, but expressing a deep inner conflict. I wish that our forum would offer a place for this, even if it's uncomfortable to some. If, in the future, anyone has an issue with the writings of another member, could you please take it up with me first? We can then find a way together to resolve any issues and not let them get out of hand by causing rash actions or unnecessarily harsh words. Did someone of the community ask OP to delete his account, or remove his posts before he actually deleted his account? That would be quite inappropriate, to say the least. However, if OP deleted his account on his/her/their own decision then I don't see any wrongdoing of the community, apart from the lack of feedback on the posts but that goes for lots of threads on this forum, and most authors don't delete their account.
One could argue that the original thread was perhaps more fitted for the Lounge since there was no finished piece attached to it, but I don't see any problems with the post nor am I offended by them.
I'm not trying to start an argument, I just sharing my opinion in a hopefully constructive way.
I agree the lounge as wasn't as AE performance/music. |
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Post by admin on Oct 9, 2021 11:46:49 GMT
Hello all, I have contacted cross4eyes to check in and he replied that he deleted his account not in response to the call to "delete his post". In fact apparently he had deleted his account beforehand as he wanted to get some distance and quiet from social media to focus on his album project. So it seems I may have overreacted and because I joined the conversation a few hours later (due to time zone differences) I made wrong assumptions. It was definitely not my intention to put blame on the community or anyone, but to raise a potential issue where someone may feel compelled to leave because of the reaction they receive to their posts. Of course we should also allow negative feedback, we are all adults and need to be able to deal with criticism, but it has to be done in a respectful way  Human communication is so tricky ... that's why I have become a software developer ... computers are easier to deal with  Anyway, I'm still incredibly happy to be part of this amazing forum community where these things can be openly discussed and thoughtfully examined. Thank you all! |
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Post by pt3r on Oct 9, 2021 11:49:58 GMT
Quite honestley I would've been surprised if the community had turned this way; for as long as I've been here I never witnessed any toxic or negative behaviour which is really a blessing and a unique thing compared to other online communities.
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Post by funbun on Oct 9, 2021 12:18:49 GMT
I saw that the account was deleted and thought he had broken some forum rule. I had no idea stuff may have been happening behind the scenes.
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Post by maydonpoliris on Oct 9, 2021 20:10:31 GMT
Sweet, very happy this was a self delete and in hindsight the post posts make sense now.
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